Lecture ~ July 27th

I tried this exercise with my friend Carol. She was unaware of her participation. After 30 or so minutes, I tried to see if our responses to each other during our conversation mirrored each other. I was surprised to find on most levels we responded identically. When I was sharing something really personal and leaning in towards her, I noticed her leaning towards me, nodding in agreement. She indeed was mirroring my actions. I found the same to be true when she was speaking. I had the tendency to move towards her in agreement. What I did not see was either of us mirroring each other when it came to touching our face or body. I did notice at one point, when I did disagree with something she said, that we both moved back in our chairs. There was mutual respect for each other, but not the closeness we had shared earlier.
I found this exercise to be really interesting. I decided to try it on other people and see what results I ended up with. When I tried it on my husband, it was definitely different than with my girlfriend. Just the tone of voice (he tends to get loud when he gets excited or wants to prove a point), would make me retreat, and scoot to the back of the chair. Even when we agreed with each other and he was loud, I would still lean back inthe chair. When his voice was on a normal level, and we were in agreement, we both leaned into each other. I am surprised at how much we use body language without be counscious of it.