Saturday, June 11, 2011

June 6, 2011 Lecture Question

Why do children form the same family who grow up in the same home seem to react and see things so differently.

If funny that just the other day at work a group of us moms were sitting there asking the same question and comparing answers. Although many of our comparisons were alike many were different as well.

I believe the genes, family and society have much to do with the way our children develop emotionally. We see this when our children smile, laugh or react in a certain situation. I notice that my oldest son has the same mentality on family as my ex-husband. That no matter what you do they will always be there for you and he is correct within our family structure. His laugh and smile remind me so much of his farther. However his temperament is much like mine where as things just roll off and to really become mad it takes stress to trigger that emotion. He also has the amazing ability of adaptation within the workplace, he doesn't do well with an immediate supervisor but thrives in jobs where he is left more on his own. My middle son who has the same biological father however was raised by my now husband and has adopted may of his traits. He is in the military and thrives on structure as my husband did. School was just a forefront to life and he had to excel or he was not working hard enough. He has my temperament as well so we three share that. The difference in the two my eldest son spent 5 years with his father and his brother only 6 months. So, with these two I wonder was it more genes, family or society that helped him develop. My youngest son, well everyone tells me he is my mini me as a male. We do look very much alike, the same smile and laugh. However he inherited his dads temper which is very emotionally driven. When he is upset, angry or mad everyone knows about it and as I tell him he one day will learn to pick his battles as everything doesn’t have to be so over the top He also inherited both our our love of sports. He is a wonderful hockey, football and baseball player. It is something we all three enjoy doing as my other two would rather not play sports at all. I am happy though that all my boys share the emotional tie to family which is a very endearing trait to have.

I find that society and the acquaintances our children have much more to do with their development than genes. I believe our genes shape who they are, what their core values are but society and life experiences change them to the person they will become. They must choose to take the positive and negative experiences in life and proceed to grow and develop with each one.